More than a decade ago a customer called and said he wanted me to help him make altercations to his house.

I knew he meant ‘alterations’ but that didn’t stop me from imagining standing in front of his house and shouting:

  1. You darned house!
  2. Your foundation is just one big crack
  3. Your roof leaks like a spaghetti strainer
  4. Your daddy was pile of wet sawdust
  5. Your mamma was a trash pine

…because that’s how you make ‘altercations’ to a house.

The alteration to his house was an addition, a new garage, big enough for two cars.

This morning, he called again. He asked me to come back and design an addition to the addition, enlarging that garage to make it hold six cars and a sizable workbench. When I said I could meet him at the end of this week, he said, “You don’t have to come that soon. Let’s wait until we can’t catch this Carotid Virus.”

So, we set up a meeting for next month. In the meantime, I’ll just make some new ‘altercations’, “Darn you, ‘carotid’ virus!”